Let’s face it: helping people change their habits is no small feat. It's natural to feel frustrated when clients struggle with consistency or backsliding into old patterns. However, over time, I’ve realized that creating lasting change isn’t about pushing people toward perfection—it’s about understanding their journey. They are the experts of themselves and their lifestyles, and meeting them where they are is essential. There is no one-fits-all design.
One of my approach's most significant turning points was learning about behavior change theories, particularly the Stages of Change model (Prochaska & DiClemente, 1983). This framework highlights that people move through distinct phases when attempting to change a behavior—Pre-contemplation, Contemplation, Preparation, Action, and Maintenance. Recognizing these stages has helped me tailor my approach, setting my clients up for success by focusing on what they need now rather than where I think they “should” be.
Why Small Changes Matter
Change isn’t a straight line or linear-- there are winding roads full of stops, detours, and setbacks. Instead of aiming for overnight transformations, I encourage clients to embrace small, realistic changes. Research shows that small, incremental goals are more effective in creating sustainable habits than significant, ambitious changes that can lead to burnout (Lally et al., 2010).
For instance, if a client wants to eat healthier but feels daunted by completely overhauling their diet, I might suggest something simple, like adding one serving of vegetables daily or swapping soda for sparkling water a few times a week. These seemingly small actions can snowball into more significant lifestyle changes over time.
The Power of Meeting Clients Where They Are
One of the most powerful things you can do as a coach or guide is to understand where your client is in their readiness to change. For example, a client in the Contemplation stage might not be ready to hit the gym five days a week but may be open to taking short daily walks. By aligning your strategies with their stage of change, you’re building trust, reducing resistance, and helping them take steps they feel confident about.
Practical Tips for Supporting Lasting Change
Start Small: Encourage manageable goals. Success breeds confidence, and confidence fuels motivation.
Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge and celebrate even the tiniest wins. This reinforces positive behavior and keeps clients motivated.
Ask, Don’t Tell: Use open-ended questions to help clients discover their solutions. This empowers them and builds ownership of the process.
Please focus on the why. Help clients reconnect with their deeper motivations when they understand their “why,” it’s easier for them to stay committed. However, don't ask the client why questions-- use what, when, where, and how questions to get them to understand their needs fully.
Be Patient: Change takes time. Celebrate effort, not just outcomes, and remind clients that setbacks are a normal part of the process.
Helping clients make lasting changes is about supporting them as they navigate their journey. By focusing on small, sustainable steps and tailoring your approach to their readiness, you can help them build habits that truly stick—for life.
References
Lally, P., Van Jaarsveld, C. H., Potts, H. W., & Wardle, J. (2010). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998–1009. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.674
Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1983). Stages and processes of self-change of smoking: Toward an integrative model of change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(3), 390–395. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.51.3.390
Norcross, J. C., Krebs, P. M., & Prochaska, J. O. (2011). Stages of change. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 67(2), 143–154. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20758
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